Breathe deep between the lines

this week the trend..is not wake up till 3 pm

2006-05-03T14:15:25Z

soooo i see everyone is starting to write in these things agine.

so lets update. i turned 18 not much of a diffrence..just dont have to sneak buying ciggs. hmm school is pretty much almost over...got big plans for the summer. going to detroit for the big reunion, prolly chicago to vist my rosie, ohio for Ceder point, and fun at the shore. and possibly jersey with katie and prolly the keyes with katie for a few days. so excited for next summer...amsterdam. its going to be pretty crazy cant wait.

so i stayed home another day from school. my mom thinks im on drugs, but i really just dont wanna sit in a desk for 7 hours being bord. sometimes i just dont understand, i could so easily just lie about where i go or what i do..but no i tell the truth and she gets mad lol, like she wants me to keep it from her.

anyways thats about it.pretty boring stuff.

.....

2006-04-03T21:58:40Z

" C'mon baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you

With you
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever "

woah

2006-03-09T20:17:22Z

wow havent wrote in awhile...

i got time now considering im in detenion. lol i find it all funny. Coach Vince allows us to go on our laptops (which has AIM) . But still im bord off my ass and really dont wanna be in here. I guess i should start off why im in here...khmm i was late! to shcool! wtf do they want from me lol...it was excused i had someone call in but noooo to many times and now i get this shit. Monarch is dumb! ugh this wasnt my week at all. the principle was so rude to me and wouldnt even hear me out about what happened. ugh i just speak how i feel about stuff. and thats why i said FUCK THE NEW TARDY POLICY! (kiss my ass) and shut the hell up about the damn new rule. sry but thats just the person i am...i tell it like it is.

Anyways speaking of new rules...we can now wear flip flops next school year! im very excited and its about damn time. We live in the tropics i never understood what the BIG deal was. so im looking forward to school shopping this summer and adding ALOT of flip flops. im a dork. i know.

work is going pretty good...i like beign the manager im doing real well. Hmmm my grades in school are good except for Chemistry...grrr i pretty much said fuck it. man..these past few months just went by its crazy...in about a month im going to be 18. i just dont know where all the years went. im excited to be 18 and to go all out for it.

damn...i really need to get some motavation becuase im getting the earliest case of senioritis. really lazy when it comes to school. hmm what else...just been really busy, havent had any time to be with anyone for a few months. lol plus for some strange odd reason i attract the freshmen and sophmores...i dont know whats up with that...i think it has something to do witht he fact that they are taller then me...sad but true.

wow this passed some time.

Update

2006-01-23T21:16:17Z

alright so alot has been up.
Got new classes...i have chemistry...but after today mr. Z said i should switch out b/c i already got alot of stuff wrong. and i switched out of inter math...becuase i already took alg 2 and i didnt feel like doing anything...so now i have to switch things around. ugh so frustrating. I feel so dumb in my classes. but i have Katie in my debate class so we have fun.

But on the up side i was promoted to Manager @ Libby lu..which is more pay all that good stuff...so i have been jugling school and work,beach and oh my mother. ugh!!
shes driving me crazy about never being home...why do moms do that.

This weekend is Chilly Cook-off!!! hells yeah!! hells yeah!! cant fucking wait!!its going to be crazyness all day, getting fucked up, jaming to some tunes...watching all the red necks fight over beer....CANT FUCKING WAIT!

"Well I know what you're doing
I see it all too clear
I only taste the saline
when I kiss away your tears
you really had me going wishing on a star
But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far
I believed in your confusion, that you were so completely torn

Well, it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born
There's not much to examine, nothing left to hide
You really can't be serious
if you have to ask me why I say good-bye...

cause I am barely breathing
And I can't find the air
I don't know who I'm kidding imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
I don't suppose it's worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay... "

hard_too_please @ 2006-01-05T06:44:00

2006-01-05T11:50:31Z

alright so school has started back up....how gay.
cant wait to get new class's which consist of new people.
Christmas break was real good... went to Palm beach a few times to vist friends esp edgar who i miss.
worked aloootttt....did to much shopping. and got a new tattoo on new years eve to start this year off right. It's tribal butterfly on my lower back and yes it hurts so bad i feel stupid.\

So I have been doing alot to my lil car..got it a new system...and yesterday took it in to get an alarm lol. next week im going to get the locks and windows all re-done...and hopefully the interior.

but anyways thats all thats going on right now...besides the same BS.

rock'n roll will never be the same!

2005-12-05T21:40:51Z

school is gay cant wait till break.. Rosie is deff coming down for the break so much fun will be had esp in west palm to see shibby. Man im lisening to Staind's new cd its awesome. anyways wendsday i get my ring!! yippy!!!!!! its beautiful.Im working so many hours now...its crazyness. this weekend was alright me and katie pretty much just worked...saturday we went to Bru's and then meet up with ppl and played some pool... the usual. tonight no work...woahhh so its the gym..lucky me.

Bord already

2005-11-29T02:18:02Z

Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin

And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now

Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing
Learning how to love

I'm melting )
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me

You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
Take my hand
We could take our heads off
stay in bed just make love that's all
Just stay with me now

I'm melting
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting

In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)

In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes

hard_too_please @ 2005-11-28T21:15:00

2005-11-29T02:15:47Z

"Let It Bleed"

This poison's my intoxication
I broke the needle off in my skin
picked the scabs and picked the bleeding
and assumed that it was all in vain
A positive scab that's never healing
Calloused hit me in the face
A burning bridge that's so misleading
Poison's more potent now with the flame

Let it bleed
Take the red for what it's worth woah
Watch the fire
Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time
If you feel like dying you might wanna sing

The fire department couldn't drown the city
They didn't even try to wash it clean
And what did you think that I was sober?
Put me out cause I'm on fucking fire
A positive scab that's never healing
Regret that I kept this clean
The most that I can do for you is keep on lying
It's not a lie if you can let it sing

Let it bleed
Take the red for what it's worth woah
Watch the fire
Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time
If you feel like dying you might wanna sing!

Ohoh you might wanna sing
Ahaha you might wanna sing
Hahah you might wanna sing
Hahahaha sing!
You might wanna sing!
You might wanna sing!
You might wanna sing or scream at...

This poison's my intoxication
I broke the needle off in my skin
Picked the scabs and picked the bleeding
yeah assumed that it was all in vain

Let it bleed
Take the red for what it's worth, woah
Watch the fire
Mamma fill your lungs with smoke for the last time
If you feel like dying
If you feel like dying
If you feel like dying, You might wanna sing
Hahaha You might wanna sing
Haha You might wanna sing
Ha you might wanna sing or scream at...

bumed

2005-11-20T04:38:49Z

tonight just wasnt supposed to happen the way it did

just makes u think about who people really are...and tongiht was just a reminder

.....

2005-11-16T22:58:39Z

time for an update...
this past weekend went alright the drive to Palm Bay wasnt to bad just the usual getting lost lol...man good times. the vist with my stepbro was awesome we had fun, we just hung out with ppl (his drunk ass drank mornign to night lol) anyways just been real bussy. my grades have gone to shit...i dont do crap its sad but true...my report card was awesome 3.0 still and now they are shit....ohh well no motavation..fuck it. and im taking like 3 days off next week to go to Detroit for the holiday . liek i dont kno what my prob is i just dont care anymore.ugh liek for these past few weekes i have been a mess...
like i dont eat..i dont sleep like i should be...no idea what im doing...but anyways so work has been going pretty good i get to train people and boss them around yes!! lol jp.
man im so excited some awesome shows are coming up me and katie need to get some tickets for christmas chaos and buzzbake sale....exciting! also very excited that christams is comign around!!! shouts new tatoo. Once agine today i have locked my car keyes in the car....last time it was when there was beer all in the car and this time in the student parking lott...so i was just frustrated but it was all good. anyways so yeah i think im starting to like someone...its werid as hell cuz i never even thought of him in any way at all....i dont know theres something about him...cant place my finger on it just yet. and all i could think about was hahhaha certain people woudl have a feild day with this one...fucking hoes. but i dont give a fuck what people say esp...these hoes im talking bout.
man cant wait till spring break...going to be 18 for it...hells yeah! anyays i need to go eat a good meal...im like so runned down...think i will stay home tonight as long as work doesnt call me...ohh yeah about that i got to meet daryls gf who he failed to mention to me for a month and i found out cuz she got hired ughhhhh whatever that boy is a whore...yes i said it...a whore!!!

damit my movies are due tonight before 12 so the whole movie idea is gone....but chinese is always open!

hard_too_please @ 2005-11-07T16:55:00

2005-11-07T22:23:55Z

so today was the first day back to school...it SUCKED! I was bord outa my mind, and a bit frustrated because now i have to see a few people that aggravate me. just some girls piss me off and like to run their mouths with gossip...its cool tho. anyways friday is no school which i find funny...but thursday after school me and kit-kat are driving up to Palm Bay to get my step brother and Ash!!! so excited! even tho i have never driven for more then like an hour at a time...but ohhh well gotta do it.

im just happy i get to see them ....go to the beach...play some pool..go out to dinner it will be an awesome weekend, cant wait

anyways i went to the tanning bed yesterday ..i got me a tan...and i got my ass a burn...i couldnt sit down today it hurt so bad. worse idea ever.

~u know u really care and have feelings for some one when you constantly screw up all the things you try to say...and the things u do say come out completly wrong...no matter how many drinks you have to try and forget him...hes the last thing on your mind before u pass out, and the first person u call when u wake up. it wouldnt be so bad if every song on the radio didnt remind u of him. and just a look in his big beautiful eyes turns you into a sucker. when your shopping with your girls u always keep him in mind. Its a straitjacket feeling... It crazy how guys go for the girls that don't have a clue what they want, and whats even more crazy is when the girls who are really worth it, are ignored...But today im fine without you, im not so perfect but i wish u luck to find a girl who is..."i dont belive that anybody feels the way i do about u now..back beat the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out...."

..............

niceeee

2005-11-05T04:10:59Z

i got power back...and i got my mother back...lol

ohh well i cant get everything that i want right?

today was pretty cool...hung out with daryl pretty much all day...did my laundrey and went in the pool. then got dressed and went to see my katumz...had some dinner and played pool for the rest of the night...i suck. practice makes perfect.

tommrow is lovely work...

monday is lovely school...

life is just all around lovely.....

"He's on the dance floor yelling Freebird
Singing off pitch but he knows every word
Grabs him another girl and he holds on tight
Now he's chasing everything in sight
He'll fall apart when he gets home
Right now his worries are gone
Life looks good, good, good
Billy's got his beer goggles.... on "

*****

2005-11-01T13:46:57Z

so i made it through the hurricane....i still have no power tho. i was like camping for 6 days. But my moma had to go outa state to work, and my step dad goes to work at night so for someone who is scared of the dark being hoem alone at night with no power even across the street is pretty scary.

SO im staying with my katumz!! which is awesome i didnt get to see anyone for 6 days it was crazy.

To be honest this was the worst Halloween ever! (sorrta) katie up really early and we went to find some breakfast like i was thinking drive-thru but nothing was open...we both looked scruby cuz we came right out of bed as is thinking we wouldnt be getting out of the car..but we ended up at the mall ohh yeah got breakfast...decided to go to party city...then rag shop...got lots of cool stuff but i had to work last night i bought a mardi gras mask and katie did my make up all pretty for work. so after work went over to nicks house for a bit but had to go cuz they havent lifted the curfu yet. it was cool...

school school school....there is none...no complaints

????

2005-10-23T01:35:16Z

so here i go... this week went by very slow... it was the first week since ash moved...i thought things would be diffrent but with all the BS and drama that finally came out after she left played a role with that. I dunno i miss her...i know what happened was fucked up and i understand where katumz is coming from ...cuz i woudl be pissed if it happend to me but its just sad it all happend like this. she fucked up i just wish he wasnt so far away so them two can work things out but who knows.

anyways! i dont feel good at all...i was starting to sleep real good but some how it got all muffed up...and i dont feel good att allllll. no idea whats wrong with me but of course i would get real sick for the hurricane. my stomach hurts.

Rosie sent me a letter it made me smile i miss her soooooo much. she sent me a beautiful drawing lol...gotts to send her one of mine. her momz stoped by the house the other day she misses her. so anyways this hurricane everyone is flipen over....my momz wanted me to get a full take of gas i was like hell no...if we get hit bad im not driving...and if its real bad my car may get ruined or crushed...why waste 40 bucks. so now shes not talking to me cuz she says that i know everything blah blah blah but its more like im not wasting my money..if she wanted to pay for it then thats fine.

i have to work tommrow morning....suckkkksssss...ohh so excited! im gonna get my class ring in liek two weeks! and we get to do the whole ceremony and everything...me and katie get to walk threw the big ring lol! mines so pretty!!!! pretty light green stone with two hearts overlaping eachother B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L !!!!

monday morning?

2005-10-17T10:50:45Z

man where did the weekend go....no idea.
my weekend was alright i worked for the most part. Ash moved yesterday morning so friday night we meet up with everyone for dinner and then went back to katies and did some arts and crafts lol. saturday was a bit mixed up. and yesterday was just all around gay...i woke up on katies couch, really tierd and trying to figure out what the hell was going on lol then off to work. last night was just confusing, but when am i never confused. but anyways...dont wanna go to school... friday is no school niceeeee. all i really really really wanna do is curl up in bed and watch 80's movies....thats all...ohh and order chinese food. yup. thats it.

hard_too_please @ 2005-10-12T08:45:00

2005-10-12T13:52:09Z

yeah i should have just stayed home. this morning hasnt gone all that great and last night deff was not the best of nights. I worked late. So this is what muffed me all up yesterday...i havent had my mind on derek for some time and like outa no where one of his friends showed up at my work and now the convo is all i can think about. actually im kindda happy i had talked to him because he told me some stuff that didnt make me feel all upset over derek. whatever it doesnt really matter what anyone says anymore just becuase im over it....took me longer but its amazing how blind u can be for so long....and im done with him, the only thing we could ever be is friends....my feelings for him are...wait...i dont have any for him anymore (just what he had wanted)
so anyways! i shoudl not have even come to school....its so gay im doing nothing. man i need to go to home depot for some paint....my plan is to re do the whole patio thingy out by my pool...i dunno exactly how i want to do it but i have a few ideas.
man i havent talked to daryl in a long ass time...i should hang out with him, lol since he got a gf he has no time for me lol...psh yeah right. so im thinking about going to vist edgar, its a drive but it would be good to go away for a weekend to see my old good best friend. my mom always asks me about that boy lol...plus i never had the chance to met his gf cuz he didnt bring her down last time he visited. man i cant wait for Detroit...a whole week outa here...i cant wait to go to some shows and get my hands on some new tunes, new sounds its going to me awesome. but anyways i needa getouta here somehow?

it wasnt supposed to be like this

2005-10-06T10:49:04Z

i think i was completly right when i say everything is fucked up. Nothing makes sense anymore. One of our football players shaffner got hit by lighting yesterday and died. man i cant even imagine how school is going to be today.Its really gong ot hit us right in the heart for our school. What i think people dont really relize is that Monarch is not a big school at all. Its only been open for 3 years and the people in it have bonded. Its the type of school if a new student showed up everyone would spot that person out..without a thought in their mind maybe i never saw this person beofre. Everyone basicaly knows eachother weither that means they like eachother or not. But if u think about it theres no violence at our school...no fights nothing its so mello. Well of course there have been a few fights but in a week those people were straight with eachother.

Its just insane u would never think somethign liek this would happen...its just goes to show u that life is to short and everyone deserves to be happy. My mind is all out of sorts....

hard_too_please @ 2005-10-04T19:49:00

2005-10-05T00:08:35Z

Is it just me or is everything fucked up lately???
like theres no reason for shit. somethings in life i will just neevr understand. and i look around and i know changes need to be made. It drives me insane...and it keeps me up allll the time. And life is to short to be pissed off all the time ya know. So heres my new outlook. Fuck it. if i stop caring so much i could prolly get more sleep. whatever happens, happens. ugh school tommrow already! ohh well tomrmows the last day... just get it over with. Man im so excited im going to Detroit for like 3 days for thanksgiving...its just going to be a nice change. cant wait to see my cuzin and go to some local shows...i wont want to leave. anyways im out.

ohh yeah

2005-10-02T13:53:50Z

"All I know is that to me,
You look like you’re lots of fun,
Open up your loving arms
Watch out here I come

You spin me right round baby, right round,
Like a record baby, right round, round, round,
You spin me right round baby, right round,
Like a record baby, right round, round, round"

anyways...what an awesome song been singing it since last night.
so we lost our homecoming game...but it was still fun gettign all dressed up and doing all that stuff. After the game we went to Bru's. last ngiht was our dance and i was supposed to go to all the after shit but i was starting to fall asleep at katies and didnt really wanna wait any longer so i left. yesterday daryl came over to help me with my car some of the paint wont come off from the tailgate party. this week should be a brezze. tommrow midterms..we leave at 11:4- and tuesday no school, thursday we get out early agine...and friday no school! yes sir! but anyways gotta run off to work....

horoscope

2005-10-01T03:35:34Z

Daily Love for September 30, 2005
Provided by Astrology.com Weekly Love

Daily Flirt:
It's time to talk straight up with someone close. Take your time getting ready for it -- choose every word carefully and you'll be able to hit them in just the right place to change their thinking.

$%@#

2005-09-30T10:49:03Z

soooo...today is spirit day! got alot of stuff going on for that. I fixed my shirt last night so its all good. yesterday was real fun Mardi gras day loved it. ugh last night i got home and i had to do one of my midterm papers ughhh....so i picked up a red bull and just started writing away...which might have not been a good idea because now that i look at it, its completly off topic and talkin about all sorts of stuff...i guess i was just real tierd and needed to go to bed. so the point is that i need to rewrite that dame paper. last night me and derek went out to dinner...it was a good start to our just friends thingy...whatever u wanna call it. i guess its just hard for me becuase we were just never friends so i dont know how to just be his friend...when you start off with those type of feelings for someone its not easily forgotten. but it was a good start and i would rather have him as a friend then nothing at all and maybe in the future it wil be diffrent. but anyways this weekend is going to be awesome...homecoming is tommrow,..im not going but to all the shit after it fo sho. lol. tailgate after school hells yeah!

um

2005-09-27T10:52:33Z

ahhhh...

so today is wacky tacky day...im all decked out...yesterday was twin day so katumz mad eme a shirt but there is a big stain on it when i got to her house so i had to wear my hooters shirt...but i fixed it and i will wear that shirt for spirit day. tomrmow is 70's day!!! yippy!! got my outfit alllll planed out. its awesome! so im not going to homecoming yea im bumed but i didnt think he wanted to go with me anyways cuz hes not all into the school stuff. so im going to do the game and the tailgating party and everything after that. Damit i dont want to stay after school to work on the float's its so much work, but it needs to be done. tonight i have work till 11:30 for inventory it starts at 7 but im tierd.
gots to go...i look so cute today...dont worry i got the camera take some crazy ass picz

hard_too_please @ 2005-09-20T09:59:00

2005-09-20T14:21:51Z

no school...no school...no school..

funny thing is that i set my alarm clock anyways and got woken up at 6 this morning. my mom brought me an awesome shirt back form the concert she took my step dad to for his b-day. Tim Mcgraw so awesome. anyways so they went to the concert last night and i went to publix in search for a cake....that place was crazy...we had to park out by the tanning place. Then after that me and daryl chilled, grubed and i came home becuase i didnt really wanna stay there if it got real bad with the weather and i didnt want to leave my puppies home alone lol. so me and the puppies hung out and burned cd's. Me and derek talked yesterday he basicaly said to me that we coudl be friends in the future but nothing more...yeah it sucks but what can ya do about it u kno' i told him anything and everything to try and just get how i feel out there. but who knows what will happen, gesh! i fucking think about him allll the fucking time! like i cant turn on the radio without thinking of him! ANYWAYS! rosie called me other night..i miss her soOoOo much, its not the same without her here. Ahhh but shes doing good up there shes coming home for winter break i belive so im going to plan a trip or something. And im so pissed cuz like we keep planing this trip to the keyes with people but like the keyes keeps getting hit with hurricanes ...so it looks like spring break agine which wont be bad cuz i will be 18 before spring break when we go. whoop whoop no school today! what shoudl i do??? prolly my homework...but i wannna go to a show....gotta see whats going on.

hard_too_please @ 2005-09-19T06:25:00

2005-09-19T10:28:13Z

school school school.....

i dont want to go.

im so tierd i was seriously up all night for no reason.

p.s. chelsea's got it bad

...

2005-09-18T04:26:02Z

Like i thought it would get better as days go by...

but like its only getting harder

and just all around more shitier